Monthly Archives: November 2016

The funeral was great and now it’s time to move on

The funeral is finally over, everything’s gone home and I’m sitting here this evening getting my head straight ready for a new start tomorrow.

The service was lovely, and we had a lovely time afterwards, 52 people came and most stayed on for a couple of hours afterwards, reminiscing, catching up and generally making the most of a bad situation, which is lovely and was lovely to see the family members as well.

We have one more thing to deal with, the headstones for my father’s grave are going in and we have chosen a proper stone tribute.

We decided that rather than the normal gravestone we will go for something a bit more fancy and meaningful, without hopefully it being ridiculously over the top. So we have gone for a stone tribute we hope is going to be tasteful but convey our cost of the motions towards our father.

So once the placing of the headstone is out of the way then it’s time for me to move on a bit I think. It’s made me think about my life and where I’m going over the next phase of it. Now that my father is dead, my mother passed away a few years ago, more money is going to come my way, which will allow me to perhaps take a bit of time to take a look myself and what I want over the next two years.

In a way it’s a positive thing which has come out of a negative experience and I’m hoping that I can channel it into making things better for myself. I’m going to try and keep reminding myself by going to see my father is grave, just like I did my mother, every month for a while to keep the memory fresh while not getting ridiculous about it.

But anyway, it really is time for me to start looking what I’m going to do next with my life. I have a lot decision to make and some of them may be difficult, but I know that with my family around me I will be strong and supportive. And with more money as well, I should be able to make a decision about where I want to go next.

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The funeral arrangements are finally in place

It’s been a difficult few days trying to talk to the family, especially my brothers and sisters to get the arrangements for the funeral sorted out and finished. But thankfully they now are. We have put together an order of service with readings and music which I think will reflect my father and his time on this earth.

We’ve also managed to get the headstone ordered. We are going for a proper stone tribute by lisovetsky, and I think everybody is really happy with the style and messages we have gone for on the gravestone.

So that’s really good and it’s good that the horrible cold arrangements including things like headstones are now in place for the funeral and the burial and that we can all start to get ready for the day. I am not sure how me people will actually turn up, so I am catering for around 40 at the wake, but I’m sure if more people turn up it won’t be a problem.

So it looks like all the arrangements for the funeral in place, and the headstone will then go on the grave afterwards and I think we will probably will go back and see it after that to make sure that the stone tribute really does reflect what we were looking for.

Then I can hopefully move on, the services in a few days time and then after that hopefully I can get on with my life because obviously this is taken up a huge chunk of my time and my emotional strength and I just want to get on with my life again. I think death makes you think a bit about your own life and how you will probably never doing quite enough, so it’s an opportunity perhaps for me to refresh my thoughts and move on with my life a bit better. I think perhaps a change of job or something new is what I will need, and that is definitely what I will be looking to do in the months after the funeral.

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Getting very grave about headstones

I hope you’ll forgive the unfortunate joke. But it’s been a long and difficult few days and I suppose I’m letting off steam with an inappropriate joke, but as its at my expense, because my father has died, then I suppose everyone will have to forgive me.

Anyway, it’s been a funny old day I’ve been trying to get a headstone sorted out, and there’s been a bit of a family discussion about what stone tribute we should choose. We are looking at a company called Lisovetsky to produce it for us, they produce beautiful carved headstones and we really think they will do a good job, but is choosing which style, design and what words to have on it.

That’s where the differences come in and there’s been a bit of a frantic email exchange with the day. I’m trying to get things sorted out because I’m the person who lives the nearest to our father, so it’s up to me to organise it, and then the family coming down, although they are supporting the process, and they are paying financially, it’s also down to me in many ways and I suppose I’m getting a bit fed up with it and I suppose having a good joke about is good because it’s getting quite stressful.

Anyway, once the headstone is sorted for the grave then I will start to deal with the order of service, my sister is helping with that, we have been speaking on the phone about it all earlier on, and I suppose that it’s all starting to sink into all of us that very soon going to have a horrible family they were we have to lay our father address.

But in other news, I think I’m going to have to change my job after this. I been thinking about it for a while and I suppose that the shock of my father dying has made me think about life going forward. On top of that we will be selling his house and I will get quite decent lump sum which would allow me to give up work a six months anyway, so I might as well use that to get another job and move on with my career for what will be last part of my life as well.

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A lovely few hours in the park with my wife and the dog

I suppose this isn’t the most exciting a blog post but things are very strange in our household at the moment. My father died a week ago and we are in the middle of doing all the funeral arrangements so things are in limbo a bit and a bit strange and not like we have ever experienced in the whole of our marriage.

Our children are older now so it’s better, but obviously it’s a strange time for everyone, plus everyone else in the family including my brother and sister, and we are all trying to pull together and get on with things to get the funeral sorted, get some closure and move on with our lives.

I had been arranging the funeral, details for the service and other essential things and it’s getting quite tiring. I have decided on a Lisovetsky stone tribute and have ordered it, and that will be the headstone for the grave once it is all finished with, so that’s one thing offr my mind.

Now the headstone is sorted I am looking at the order of service and getting that sorted out. But it all very stressful so it was nice to take some time away from it.

It was a lovely afternoon, quite unseasonable in a way and we decided to walk the dog to the local park with a picnic and a blanket and sit and have lunch. We did that wound through up sitting there for two hours talking and chilling out together. The dog loved it and we just the ball every now again and it ran around and had a lovely time.

It was great to just get out there and have some fun and not have to worry about things as I have been over the past few days. I’m usually quite chilled out but it’s times like this in life that really test-tube and make you realise who you are, what you have and where you think you are in your life. Sometimes they can be real eye opening times you realise things aren’t quite what they seem.

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Time to order the stone tribute now my father is dead

That this is a blog post I didn’t expect to have to write any time soon but the title should say all. I’m a very pragmatic person and people say that I am a bit of a cold person and I suppose the title of this blog post will come across that, but that’s the truth and I suppose that I have to just acknowledge it in writing to myself.

My father died the other day and we have to get the funeral arranged. I have been searching online for people in my area who can supply headstones, and stone tributes lisovetsky style headstones are the sort I’ve been looking for. I don’t know why I am so caught up on what sort of gravestones we have, but I suppose it’s because I’ve got in my head that that is what will remain of my father for my children and grandchildren to see, so I want to get it right.

I’m looking for a tasteful headstone that conveys how I feel, with a proper tribute on it, not just name and birth and death dates, I want a proper stone tribute, so that’s why I’m prepared to take a bit of time over and get some extra money invested in it.

All the rest of the funeral arrangements are going very well, the funeral director is arranging it all for me pretty much and I suppose that I am quite pragmatic and practical and I have been expecting something to happen one day, but not quite so soon, it was a heart attack and quite sudden, although he was obviously getting older.

Anyway, not that it matters because no real should be really reading this blog, it’s of no interest to anyone other than me, but I don’t want to bore myself for anybody else reading it by going on about my dad’s death or his gravestone too much. The headstone should be ordered in the next few days, the funeral arrangements are in place so I’m hoping that things can move along quite quickly.

Then hopefully I can move on as well, because obviously it’s a big shock to me and I want to get on with my life rather than having this hanging my head and then knocking out on properly and ending up in a bad place for months come.

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Little bit about me and why I’m here

I suppose the reasons for me starting this blog are several. But at the heart of it I really want somewhere to talk about myself which is anonymous and where I can hold myself account without anybody else having to read it. I’m sure other people will read this blog, but that will probably just be people passing through, I can’t believe that this blog will rank in the search engines for what I’m going to really write about and I can’t really care if it does because it’s not why I am writing this blog.

The reason is mostly around personal reasons. I want to have an anonymous place online where I can talk about my thoughts and feelings to myself, reaching conclusions and get some clarity. Maybe to have a rant and maybe to let off some steam without it all being attributed to me as a person, that will not be good, especially if I slag off my work or somebody know and they recognise me from it.

So as you can only tell I’m quite a private person and this is probably why I am going to blog anonymously rather than saying more about who I am. In terms of my private life I am going to keep it quite private and I’m going to make sure that I try not to give away to many of the details that could reveal my true identity, although like I say with only a handful of people actually reading this I’m not sure that anybody I would ever know would read it.

Anyway that’s the main reason I’m starting to blog and I suppose to get things going, I have to give some ideas about it, although it’s really going to be a bit of a strange situation because I’m not sure what to write about, especially as we just had a death in the family and I think that’s going to monopolise my thoughts and feelings for a few weeks.

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